Hiding in the Bathroom: How Comparison Lead to Collapse

At She Speaks conference….

One minute I am having a normal conversation with this nice woman I met. She also experienced the loss of a child. The next minute, I am sitting in a bathroom stall, heart pounding, tearing up, and on the verge of a major meltdown. 

Don't ask me what happened. It wouldn't make sense. She said something, and the next thing I know, like Peter, I was looking at the waves instead of Jesus. 

I would like to say that I ran to the prayer room and started to pray. I didn't. I ran to the bathroom and started to cry.

Thankfully, my sisters and mom and husband talked/texted me down. And eventually I pulled up my big girl panties (literally) and moved on. I got back up and went back out among those 699 women and started introducing myself again. 

"Hello, my name is Tricia..."

Then the worship started. And when I looked around, when I listened, when I really paid attention, this is what I saw. Women of all sizes and shapes, women of all colors with all different types of clothes and personalities, women from various parts of the country, who speak with different accents, who go to different churches, who have different worship styles—a room full of beautiful variety all joined together with one common purpose—a love for the Lord and a desire to follow Him in obedience to the call on their lives.

God doesn't need or want me to be them. He wants and needs me to be me, me in submission to Him.

So I just keep taking one step at a time, one moment at a time, one day at a time. Insecurity can be insidious, but my God is incessant. Praise the Lord!