When Ryan was little, he was frightened of storms. He would run and hide under the covers on my bed. Other than shadows, I don’t remember being frightened of much when I was young. Unfortunately, I think I have become more of a scaredy-cat as I have gotten older.
There are things which many people fear, things like public speaking or dying. Not me. Unfortunately, my fears are more personal and more irrational.
For example, I don’t really like to drive, particularly on the interstate. I am also afraid of closed-in spaces. I am not really afraid of being locked in a closet; it’s the feeling of being overly crowded that bothers me. That may explain why I don’t like being in the middle of a bunch of vehicles going 70+ miles per hour. Combine this fear with the tendency to get car sick, and you can understand why long car rides aren’t my favorite thing to do.
I am also quite the chicken when it comes to doing new things on my own. I am not the type of person to go to a concert or even a movie by myself—especially if it involves going to an unknown location. Really, I think all of this is related to comfort and control. I’m not the type of person who enjoys an adrenaline rush. I am not a risk-taker.
But sometimes growth requires risk. And, so, tomorrow, I am embarking on my own adventure.
Tomorrow, I am heading to North Carolina to attend the She Speaks Conference. It’s a dream conference for me. Christian author, teacher, and speaker Lysa Terkhurst is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries, the host of the conference. While there are differences in the services we offer, Proverbs 31 Ministries is the closest thing to a model for my business as I can find.
So, I am excited, but I am also nervous and a little bit scared.
There is a long car ride ahead. Thankfully, my sister is going to drive. (Have I mentioned how awesome my family is?) And while I look forward to the time with my mom, sisters and niece, who are making the trip with me, I really am dreading the ride, the feeling of claustrophobia, and the car sickness.
Then, there is the conference itself. While my “girls” are going with me on the trip, they aren’t attending the conference. I have to do that alone. Of course, I will be in the middle of hundreds of women, but they will all be strangers. It’s rather comical. I have no problem standing up in front of a crowd of people to talk, but the type of networking involved in a conference like this intimidates me.
In addition, this conference was really expensive. While I am trying to think of it as long-term investment, I am also afraid that I will be disappointed. I have a huge fear that this will all be “a big waste of money.” And since I recently quit my “day job,” that makes me feel really guilty.
So, here I am. Trying to remind myself that fear is a liar. Trying to remember 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
I’ve got my chocolate, and I’ve got my briefcase. So, pray for me, y’all. Pray that I will put a smile on my face and put my trust in the Lord, that I will throw my hands in the air, sit back and enjoy the ride. I’m heading out on my great adventure!