I once heard a story about a king who wanted to commission a visual representation of the word “peace.” Since he had no idea what kind of image he was looking for, he asked artists to create their images as entry into a contest. The painter that best captured the illusive idea in picture would win. Among the entries were pictures of people at rest, soldiers shaking hands, and children at play. There were scenic pictures of beautiful skies and sunny days, families sitting beside a fire, even saints at prayer. The king looked carefully at each but still wasn’t satisfied. When the last artist laid a painting at his feet, the king sighed in relief and awarded the prize to him.
The picture featured a violent waterfall crashing against the rocks of a frothy river. The sky was black, and the clouds were ominous. A storm seemed to be brewing, and the little leaf-bare tree in the forefront of the painting seemed to be ready to break in the fierceness of the wind. From a distance, no one could understand the king’s choice until he pointed it out.
In the top of the tree, on a slender branch, the artist had painted a bird, tucked safely inside a nest. With her wings spread over her eggs, she sat undisturbed in the midst of the storm.
Peace is not the absence of conflict; it’s knowing how to rest in the face of it.
As my boys moved into their teenage years, the conflict in our house began to ramp up. As national tragedies and personal events contributed more and more to a sense of uneasiness, God continued to impress upon my heart the importance of finding peace not in my external circumstances but in my internal relationship with Him.
Here’s my Christmas letter from 2012.
Merry Christmas from the Brown’s
“Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.”
Luke 2:10-11
I find this Christmas letter a little harder to write this year. With the Newtown, CT, shootings still fresh on my mind, it is somewhat harder to sit down and share all our blessings. I almost feel guilty as I think about all the people who are suffering today, who are grieving the loss of their children and loved ones. But remembering how brief life is gives me one more reason to appreciate today a little more. And so, I will write. For those of you who think I couldn’t shut up if I wanted to, I guess that’s no surprise!
This year began and ended in the same way—with basketball. In the 2011-2012 season, our family was completely immersed in basketball. We had four boys in three different leagues, on four different teams. Sjon-Paul was a dominating force for the home school Trailblazers. The South Warren Middle School Spartans worked Brandon like a borrowed mule. And Braxton, who was a giant among his teammates, struggled to keep his composure as all those “little” kids almost tackled him to get the ball. But it was Ryan who brought home the “gold” so to speak. His Parks & Rec team went undefeated throughout the regular season and came in second in the tournament—quite an achievement.
This season is somewhat more sane but also a little sadder for us. Brandon and Ryan are the only two playing basketball. Sjon-Paul, who sat out this year’s baseball season, also chose not to play basketball this winter. After spending the last 16 years watching Sjon-Paul play ball, it has been rather difficult on us! We were really looking forward to seeing him dunk this year! We are learning the hard way that our boys are growing up, and sometimes our dreams are not theirs.
This year was especially eventful for Sjon-Paul, who turned 16 in April. During the summer he had his wisdom teeth removed and then had an elective heart procedure performed to correct his SVTs, a condition that caused his heart to beat very rapidly. He was under anesthesia for 6 hours for the heart surgery, but it was a success. He is now off heart medication for good. In the fall, he had to visit the hospital again, this time for five stitches after slicing his hand opening while “goofing around” with his cousin, Nathan. During the summer, Sjon-Paul worked his first “real” job as a field attendant and score keeper for the Warren County Parks and Recreation Department, and in the fall, at our insistence, he began attending South Warren High School. Sjon-Paul also got his learner’s permit this year and purchased his first car; although he still hasn’t driven yet.
After completing his season with the Spartan’s basketball team, Brandon decided to take it easy for a while. He got his braces off in the spring and spent the summer doing what he loves best—playing on his game system with his friends and visiting Ma & Pa and his cousins in Westmoreland. He is a freshman at South Warren High School and is still doing great academically. Brandon, who turned 14 just this month, constantly amazes us with his artistic ability, enjoys watching crime shows and playing Mine Craft.
Ryan celebrated his 10th birthday in July. He loves playing baseball and basketball and occasionally riding his dirt bike and shooting bows and arrows. He is in the fourth grade, still schooling at home, and one of his favorite subjects is history. Braxton turned 8 in March, is in third grade at home, and is sure to be the biggest Brown boy ever. He is less enthusiastic about sports and decided to try Cub Scouts this fall. He recently celebrated being the first boy in his den to complete all the requirements to earn his Bear badge. Both he and Ryan enjoy playing on their game systems, watching movies, listening to Mom read, playing with Legos and visiting with their friends.
Ian still works at SCA and loves his job. He recently accepted a new position leading the Maintenance Department, which he will begin in January. I still work at home as a freelance writer for The Education Center and also began a new position as Content Editor for the United Methodist Publishing House’s Grow, Proclaim, Serve! website in April. We both enjoy having friends over to visit and working in the gardens at our home. Our sweet cat, Cheddar, disappeared in the spring, and we miss him dearly. But Coon, is a real cat with personality and is very precious to us. In addition, we welcomed two new “family” members this year—Cocoa and Rascal—our two rambunctious dogs. For all who remember our fish, Nemo, he is still alive and swimming well, but we did move him to a higher location to keep him safe from Coon.
Near the end of last year, we started attending Crossland Community Church in Bowling Green and are starting to get to know more people there through a small group Bible study…
Life keeps us busy, that’s for sure. And time seems to fly by. I feel such as sense of urgency these days. As Sjon-Paul nears his senior year, I keep thinking of things that I need to do or say. I feel as if my mothering days are drawing to an end; yet I know that my mom is still mothering me in so many ways and that I will (hopefully) still have a place in my boys’ lives long after they have left the house. Still, as we get ready to celebrate another Christmas, I find myself wanting to stop time for just a little while, to cherish every moment. Perhaps that desire stems also from the sad and terrible tragedies our nation has seen transpire this year. We cannot deny that this holiday season is a bit different. Our nation is in mourning; our children are full of fear; things seem dark and questions fill our hearts, but if we think about it, perhaps things are not as different as we might imagine from that first Christmas so long ago.
Surely, young Mary felt some fear at the prospect of delivering her child in an unknown place, with no mother or grandmother nearby to comfort her or help her. Surely, Joseph worried for her safety and the safety of their newborn son. Surely, they were terrified of the wicked king who, they knew, would kill anyone who seemed to threaten his reign. Surely, they mourned the loss of young lives that night they ran to Egypt. Surely, they questioned why God would choose such a way for Jesus to enter the world.
I read a quote on Facebook this week. It said, “We celebrate Christmas because our world is desperately, horrifically, tragically broken, and our only hope is in Jesus Christ.”
The world was broken when Jesus was born. It is still broken today. And Jesus is still the answer to that brokenness. Just as Mary and Joseph had to believe and trust that despite all circumstances God was still in control, so must we. All the uncertainty in the world, all the confusion and grief, and fear, remind us more than ever of our need for Christ, the world’s need for Christ.
As we look back on the year, we can’t help but think about movie theater and school shootings, hurricanes and other natural disasters, political elections and increased crime, as well as personal struggles, but it’s time spent with family and friends that we will remember the most. It’s sitting around the TV watching NCIS with our older boys and sitting in the recliner reading, “The Lord of the Rings” with our younger ones. It’s watching our sons play ball or just chatting as we run them to work or home from school. It’s going to the movies together or laughing around the dinner table with friends. It’s family birthdays and holidays and vacations. That’s what we choose to remember.
And from it all, from all the experiences, good and bad, both in the year of the nation and the year of the Brown’s, we are so thankful, thankful for each other, for our children, for our extended families, for friends who have become family, for our home, for our health, for another year, another day, another minute. But most of all, we thank God for Jesus because it is only in Him that we can say, regardless of the circumstances of our world or our lives, we have salvation, we have peace, and we have hope. If you don’t know Jesus as your personal Savior, we pray you seek Him today!
Love in Christ,
Ian, Tricia, Sjon-Paul, Brandon, Ryan and Braxton
Read the fourth 2020 Advent Lesson, “Evil Exists.”