Giving and Taking Away

I am reading a book called Becoming Mrs. Lewis (good read--especially if you are a CS Lewis fan). In it, the author mentions a sestina. It is a type of poetry with very specific rules. I won't get into all the details, but it must have 39 lines (six stanzas of six and one stanza of three). Six words are always used to end each line, and those words must be included in a very specific pattern. Traditional sestinas have only ten syllables per line. Anyway, since I had never written one before, I took it as a challenge and decided to write one today. The structure is very constricting. So this is different from my typical writing. See what you think:

Giving and Taking Away

A Sestina by Tricia K. Brown

A winter day breaks—the birth of a son

Toes and fingers, healthy and without loss

A family of four birthed from the pain

Forgotten in the joyful strain of life

Mother and wife, full of promise and hope

Little House dreams wrapped in blankets of peace.

One might think that cries disrupt a home’s peace

But a baby’s voice is a gift--my son!

Tickles, laughter, miracles, mess, and hope

for the future and growth without any loss.

Busy, loud—I am the boss! This, my life

hectic and right—delusions of no more pain.

Then a crack, a tear, almost not there, pain--

at an unknown time a breach in the peace.

Brothers! Fights! Siblings in the midst of life,

stunted growth. Something is wrong with my son,

And I-we-come undone, avoiding loss,

hold it together, always pray, keep hope

Tethered, ‘til my heart broke apart—no hope.

In the wake was nothing left but the pain.

Who would have thought? My home, my heart, my loss

unanswered prayers, utter despair, no peace.

Is all gone? Where’s the cross? I’ve lost my son!

He who gives takes away the gift of life.

What happens when the world fades and your life

slowly seeps away? Where do you find hope?

God says He cares. Is He still here? My son!

He’s gone too soon. Is there a greater pain?

I wrestle, searching for elusive peace.

I am empty, a pit of aching loss.

Is what I believe really true? Is loss

a part of what You do? And is this life

all there is? You are God, and You are peace.

I know this. Despite all, You must be hope.

My mind is dull, my vision blurred by pain.

I hear again. For me You gave Your Son!

On the horizon, through loss, dawns faint hope,

a reprieve. My son is gone and there’s pain

But God’s love is life and once again—peace.