From Insecurity to Inseparable Love
A Guest Blog by Kelsey Dinning
I was in the seventh grade when I began to truly care about what other people thought about my appearance. The seventh grade… I became insecure with my dress, my physical appearance, my body type. You name it, I felt insecure about it. I aimed to please, to live up to girls I knew who seemed like rock stars on social media. I desired to be just like them, and this desire continued throughout high school.
A lot of my identity was rooted in what other people’s opinions were of me. My identity was rooted in underlying insecurities about my outward appearance and the longing to be seen as a fun person to be around.
It happens so quickly doesn’t it? The comparing… the doubting.
Ultimately, insecurities arise because of a lack of faith in one’s identity in Christ. My insecurities arose because my identity was not rooted in Christ. I was aiming to be more like girls in my grade when I should have been imitating the One who made me in His image. I was looking for their approval rather than my heavenly Father’s.
In Romans 8:7, Paul lays out a warning for us, as believers, about a focus on the flesh, “For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.”
When we become so focused on the things of this world, on the physical rather than the spiritual, we become hostile to God. We are incapable of pleasing God when we set our minds on the flesh. It is when we are focusing on the flesh that we begin to really struggle with insecurities, doubt, and comparison because our minds are centered on what people want from us rather than what God desires from us.
To be clear, God’s desire for us is to glorify His name.
This focus on the flesh is why I struggled with insecurity. I was not focused on what God saw in me. Unfortunately, even though I talk about this issue of insecurity as if it is in the past, it is still a temptation. Even though I still sometimes catch myself struggling with it, there is quite a difference now.
I am now aware of who I am in Christ. I am rooted in the One who gave up everything for me. My identity is no longer be established by how others perceive me. Let me say that again.
Who we are—who I am, who you are—is not defined by others or even ourselves. We are defined by the God who spoke us into existence.
When I catch myself falling back into those insecure thoughts, I lean on these beautiful pieces of scripture:
“Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:3-4
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139: 13-14
“…For the LORD sees not as man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
We are all capable of conquering our insecurities (the flesh) when we fix our eyes on the things that are from above. No matter what insecurity you may be facing today, think about how God sees you. You are His precious child!
May the knowledge of the Lord’s focus on your heart give you great comfort and motivation to root your identity in Christ and to live every day on mission, glorifying His name. When we have the Lord in our hearts and Christ in our lives, we become MORE than conquerors through His inseparable love!
Kelsey Dinning is a recent graduate from Western Kentucky University. In addition to her studies, she spent last semester as an intern at The Center for Biblical Counseling. Kelsey is pursuing a master’s in biblical counseling at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary beginning this summer.