You Can Prevail over People-Pleasing
A Guest Blog By Mya DeHay
If you are anything like me, you might be facing the continual battle of discontentment in your life. Looking at my life, I see the ways that God has blessed me in abundance, and I am thankful.
I am.
Despite myself, I can still seem to feel this overarching sense of dissatisfaction in life at times. As I have grown in my relationship with Christ, one thing has become abundantly clear to me.
I will never be truly satisfied outside of Christ.
Though this is the case, I still find myself looking outside of him oftentimes for fulfillment or satisfaction. For me, this usually involves looking to people or relationships for that satisfaction. The Bible calls this special type of sin fear of man.
I have been controlled by fear of man in my life across the board. When it comes to school, friends, work, clothes/appearance, etc., I have always had a tendency to care too much about what others think of me. This, however, is not the way God intended us to interact with the world around us.
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10
Fear of man is a misplaced desire which seeks to please man rather than God. It takes various forms and works itself out in a number of ways. Some outward signs of fear of man that I have seen in my life are:
Anxiety
Depression
Anger
Discontentment
When we allow the fear of man to rule in our hearts, godly contentment is prevented because the focus of our hearts has shifted away from Christ and towards ourselves.
To correct this misplaced fear, we must look to Christ. Below are some practical steps towards redirecting fear of man.
Relying on the Spirit of God.
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7
Developing a proper understanding of God’s character.
So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:6
Recognizing our dependence on God.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. Psalm 118:8
Fear of man must be put into its proper place by replacing it with fear of the Lord. Ultimately, we must begin to recognize the supremacy of Christ in our lives. He must be our joy every day, from start to finish. The moment we begin to look to anything other than him for satisfaction, we will find ourselves coming up empty.
As pastor and author, Jack Wellman said, “There are fewer things that I can think of that are more satisfying than resting in the salvation of the Lord. He is the God Who brings true satisfaction for the longing soul, and for those who hunger and thirst after righteousness: Life today may not be totally satisfying, however we know that God will satisfy the longing soul who hungers for good things, and above all, the good things from God.”
Mya DeHay is a Biblical Counselor at Centers for Hope, The Center for Biblical Counseling. She is also a Campus Missionary Intern at the Western Kentucky University Baptist College Ministry in Bowling Green, Kentucky, and a Biblical Counseling student at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.