What do I know of discrimination? I am a white, middle-class, college-educated, stay-at-home mom. To my knowledge, I have never been judged by my sex and definitely not by the color of my skin. I will not attempt to relate to George Floyd, the black man who died at the hand of Minneapolis police officers. I cannot relate; I will not try.
However, today, as I watched via Facebook video as this man struggled to breathe under a law enforcement officer’s knee, my heart was broken. In those moments, as his life drained away, I did not just see Mr. Floyd. I saw the face of my “adopted” son, Tim. I saw my friend, Gabriel. I saw my former coworkers, Papa and Troy. I saw my friends’ sons and daughters. I saw people I love and people I care about who just so happen to have a different skin color, and it brought tears to my eyes.
I want to judge. I want to point a finger. I want to question the injustice and the lack of common human decency. But instead, I am reminded of the words of James.
“Love your neighbor as yourself. But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. (James 2:8b-9)”
And the Lord convicts me to look first in the mirror, to question myself.
Have I ever judged a person by the color of their skin? Have I ever treated anyone differently because of the way they look or speak? Have I ever been guilty of discrimination?
Oh, Lord, forgive me.
I cannot relate to Mr. Floyd, but perhaps, more than I would like to admit, I relate to the men responsible for his death.
I am reminded of Mathew 5 where Jesus tells us that those who are even angry with someone are equally guilty under the law as those who murder. In God’s eyes, sin is sin. While I may try to justify my sins of discrimination as less than those of others, God doesn’t see it that way.
Today, I ask Jesus to forgive me for times when I have thought myself better than anyone else. I publicly ask forgiveness from my friends as well, from any of you who I may have ever offended in any way. And I pray that God would help me to not forget, to not forget the way I felt as I watched the life draining from Mr. Floyd’s eyes and to not forget the conviction I felt when God pointed His finger at me.
It is easy for me to express my outrage. It is easy for me to call for justice. It is not as easy to consider my own hand in the sin that divides us from our fellow man. But God commands me to love not only my friends and family but every person, regardless of how they look or speak or act. Jesus loved us—all of us—enough to die for us, and He calls us to love each other as well.
“If I speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but don’t love others, I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and if I can understand all of God’s secret plans and possess all knowledge, and even if I have such faith that I could move mountains, but don’t love others, I am nothing. If I give everything I have to the poor and even sacrifice my body, I could boast about it; but if I don’t love others, I have gained nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3 paraphrased)
Lord, please, help us all; Lord, please help me, to love.