I am tired. I know I say that a lot these days. How do I know? Because my boys have started finishing my sentences for me.
“What’s wrong, mom?” says Braxton.
“Nothing’s wrong, I’m just…”
“I know. I know. You’re tired,” says Braxton.
Seriously, there are times that I can barely keep my eyes open. Sometimes I feel as if I am sleep-walking. I’ve been to the doctor. The blood-work is normal. There doesn’t seem to be any physical cause (thank the Lord.) So, it makes me wonder if it’s psychological.
Please don’t be mistaken. I am not laying in bed all day. I am not crying all day. I am fully functional. I get up. I go to work. I keep up the house and laundry. I am working on my business. But, still, I grieve deeply, and I guess I always will. And I can’t help but wonder that perhaps grief has taken a toll on me.
I don’t know the science behind it (and I don’t have the energy to explore it). I just know that I feel so much older than I did a year ago. Some days, even simple decisions seem difficult to make. I can keep up with complicated processes and multi-task at work, but I become frustrated and paralyzed by the simple decision of what to wear or what to fix for dinner.
There are so many things that I want to do, that I need to get done, especially in regard to my writing. But it’s really hard to write when I can’t keep my train of thought. Even praying proves to be a challenge as my mind flits from one thing to another like a toddler on a sugar-high.
So, tonight’s blog is for those of you who are like me, exhausted. Maybe you are worn out from the emotional turmoil of losing a loved one. Maybe you are just tired from a personal battle you have been waging. Maybe you are fatigued from family or work responsibilities. Maybe it’s just been a really busy day, and you are just tuckered out.
Tonight, I speak to you, as I speak to myself.
Let’s remember Mathew 11:28 where Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.’”
I will pray for you, my dear friends. Please continue to remember me.