“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.”
-Psalm 139:13-16
April 8, 1997
Dear Little One,
Today, I found out that you are growing inside me…I have to admit I am a little frightened at the prospect of being pregnant again and of having another baby. Your brother keeps me so busy now. I sometimes worry that I won’t be able to give you both the time and attention you need. But today, when I took that test and watched as it slowly showed me that you were there…I knew that everything would be fine.
When I told your dad, he was shocked and had to bite his tongue to keep from yelling the news to his buddies. We both couldn’t wait to tell others though, and already—just a few hours after I delivered the news to him—several people know.
I love you already and look forward to watching my belly grow as you grow. I look forward to feeling you kick and move inside me. I look forward to getting to know you better. And I can’t wait until the day you and your big brother get to meet.
So, as I contemplate how busy life will be with two babies, I trust the Lord that He will give me the energy, wisdom, patience, and time it takes to be a good mother and to raise both my children in a loving, happy home. I ask that you, my baby, always remember how much I love you and that you be patient with your mom as well. I am human, and I make mistakes, but rest assured that I love you—even now while you are just a minute little being resting in a small dark place inside my body…
May 14, 1997
Dear Little One,
We are calling you Peanut right now because you are so small—about an inch and a quarter long. The first month, you were smaller than a grain of rice. It’s hard to imagine anything that tiny...
The last month hasn’t been easy. I figured there wouldn’t be any surprises the second time around. After all, I’ve done this before. Wrong! It just goes to show how very unique you are. This pregnancy has been very different. I have been sicker, and my emotions seem to be going wild…
The doctor set the due date for December 18, but I hope you come a little earlier. That is pushing it awfully close to Christmas…
August 2, 1997
Dear Little Boy!
That’s right. We found out that you are a little boy. When the doctor told us yesterday that you had “outdoor plumbing” we were both in shock. Your dad and I had become convinced that you were a girl because I had such a different pregnancy. Oh well, it just goes to show that you can never tell. Anyway, we are just as happy. It really didn’t matter either way…
We’re thinking of Brandon Kyle as your name…
12/10/1997
Dear Brandon,
Today you were born, and you are beautiful… You’re beautiful—blue eyes, light brownish hair, lighter skin than your brother. You weigh 8 lbs 2 oz—a chubby little guy—and are 21 inches long—just a little shorter than Sjon-Paul was when he was born.
I love you my little one. I cannot believe that you are actually here with us. They say you haven’t stopped moving since you came out. That doesn’t surprise me. You were so active inside me and stayed that way well into labor, even jostling my monitor belts as you rolled around.
I look forward to holding you again and getting to know you better. I love you baby.
12/10/2019
Dear Brandon,
I can’t believe it’s been 22 years. Heaven is an eternal celebration; so, I am confident that you will have a blessed day. As for us, we’re going to try. Your dad and brothers took off work, and we are going to see you, to put Christmas flowers on your grave. Then, we’re going out to eat like we always did—probably O’Charleys this time. And then, we’ll head to the movies. I know that’s what you would have liked. There aren’t a lot of choices right now—no superhero flicks or new Star Wars movies. So, we may go see Frozen II. I thought you would find that funny—me and these big boys going to see a little girl cartoon. Your dad is coming too. So, he’ll probably get a good nap!
We love you, son. We miss you so much. I know it’s selfish, but I still wish you were here. I wish I could celebrate with you, that I could tell you how proud I am of the young man you have become. But I am trusting that God will relay that message, and I am looking forward to when we meet again.
Happy Birthday, Brandon.
Love,
Mom